Saturday, 8 October 2011

Literature Love // Clients from Hell

litloving copy

This week we've been perusing & giggling our way through, 'Clients From Hell'.

Collated from the blog of the same name, Clients From Hell is a collection of anonomously contributed client horror stories from designers - it'd have to be or there'd be a lot more unemployed creative peoples about! For anyone that's ever worked in a creative industry, this book highlights the perils of being a designer and working to someone elses brief whatever that may be, attempting to capture one's (sometimes crazy crazy) visions and exposes the dominant emotions that a designer might experience as a result of endless impossible asks; despair, ordeal & then finally... rage.

As fun as it is to spend your days doing a job that allows for an element of creative freedom, if you have ever worked as a designer, i'm sure you'll be able to relate some of these the very least this book provides comfort & solace in the fact you are most certainly not alone and we can laugh about it - she says through a nervous smile... we kid of course :) Here's a few of our favourites:

"You can't make that movie poster design black and white - people will think the movie is in black and white"

Client: Can you click the picture?
Me: No. What do you want it to do? Enlarge?
Client: No, I just want to click it.
Me: But when you click it, what do you want to happen?
Client: I just want to be able to click it!

"We were thinking that if you just Photoshopped the lamp off of the table, you'd be able to see the kids playing behind it a lot more clearly"

Client: Fror the homepage, we'd like to use a photo of San Francisco - lots of tall buildings and it has to include the Golden Gate Bridge.
Me: Sure, I can do that but you but your offices aren't in San Franscico.
Client: No, but we want people to think they are. It creates trust.

Client: I've got the perfect image for my album cover. My girlfriend is sitting on her bed wearing red lingerie with photos of me all over the place. The photos are on fire, and she's screaming as she tears up a photo of me and dumps it into a marble bowl.
Me: Okay, can you send me over that image or does it need to be shot?
Client: No, you have to make it on photoshop 'cause we broke up.

"The unicorns don't look realistic enough" - Wow.

Client: Can you make it sexier
Me: I'm not sure what you mean by "sexier"? You want a more elegant font or...?
Client: No, I like the font; I just want it to be more, well sexy. You know...SEXXXXXXY?!
[Here, the client begins gyrating his hips]
Me: That's not really helping.

"We can't make the type black or white because Apple owns both of those colours"

And finally....

"I understand that you prefer to use Photoshop, but we don't feel that it's a universal enough program. If you could do all of the design work in Microsoft Paint, it would be easier for us to edit and give you an idea of the changes we want"

For a few more laughs, check out the Clients from Hell site here.

Much Love,
L&R xx


Joey Woj said...

This is actually amazing, I didn't know it existed.

Carla said...

At work we've recently done a massive-o rebrand, inc. website, all with the help of an amazing, understanding design company that I now have new sympathy for. Especially as we just asked them for "Photos of people who look like real people. Not model-type people. Although, they will need to be models because the pictures have to be good. You know, posed and shot properly and everything but they don't look like they've been. With models who don't look like models. Not doing modelly things. Y'know?". Whoops.

Amber Rose, Laughing With Broken Eyes said...

I need this book. ;)

Siddy said...

Lol one of my friends here in Pakistan who is a designer says she has the toughest job in the world because she has to deal with finicky ladies!!
Hope you're having better luck. I need to get my hands on this book in the meantime :))
Have a nice weekend

SDiB said...

Yes do go and get it! It's definitely the more extreme side of the job (I personally haven't had any clients gyrating in front of me, thankfully!) but hilarious to read nonetheless!

Carla... We're submitting you to the blog.

Much love xxx

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